Sending it away
The Greek word for forgiveness in the NT is “aphesis”. The most common translation for that word is “to send away” or to “let go”.
Forgiveness is to send away the hurt. Let it go.
Ebay. It’s great. All that stuff you no longer need. It either goes to the charity shop in the triangle or it goes on Ebay and you get some money back for it. I have become quite addicted to it on occasions. I have collected many bargains and many, not such bargains. I have also offloaded a load of stuff too. What I have discovered is that in order to send the stuff off, it needs to be packaged well (or you can get bad feedback) and then you actually take it to the post office or wait for MyHermes (or indeed any one of a number of similar couriers) to collect.
They don’t like it if you don’t box it up and they really don’t like it if you do not label it.
You see, to forgive and truly send it away you need to box it up and label it first. You need to name your hurt. You need to name that person. You need to be able to properly identify what it is that your issue is and with whom.
What did they do to you?
What did they not do to you?
What was said to you?
What is that hurt you?
Name that pain.
Then you need to box up that hurt and label it with that person’s name. (I am talking metaphorically, by the way. It would be better not to have the Post Office inundated with packages of pain being delivered to people!)
Then send it away. Let go of it.
Maybe actually box it up and set fire to it (in a controlled manner, in a safe place). Or throw it away. If it helps, create some kind of ritual that will enable you to physically act out sending away. Many of us are wired that way so that may help you.
The thing is, in reality, many of us are wondering around with these boxes of hurt hanging off us and they are awkward, cumbersome and uncomfortable and they just weigh us down.
It has to be a real person
You cannot forgive an institution.
I think you can have a righteous anger towards a system or an institution. I think it is okay to be angry for some of the things that major corporations or even nations do in our world. But that is different from needing to forgive.
You can only forgive a person. Maybe you are angry with the company you used to work for. In reality, it is a person you are angry with not the company. In your mind, perhaps, they have become a representation of the company, but it is always a person.
You cannot be angry with “the church”. You are the church. The church is a group of people. Often, I have the privilege and joy of being the focus of many people’s anger. It comes with the territory. I am “the pastor” and therefore I represent something. Whether it is actually me, or whether I have actually done anything to warrant it is irrelevant. I am the church, to some (especially when things are not going the way that they want).
What are you actually angry about? Who are you actually angry with? It is too easy, and somewhat lazy, to just lump into it into the pile that says “the church”. I am angry with “the church”.
No. Someone hurt you. Someone did not meet your expectations. Someone said something. It was a real person. It was not “the church”.
Maybe for some of you, you cannot let go of the hurt or send away the pain because you are trying to load it on an institution and not deal with it properly. You need to forgive the person!
You need to box it up, write the name of the person and send it away. Forgiveness. Forgive a real person, for the pain they actually caused.
Not abstracts.
Not vague ideas.
The real thing.
Keep short accounts. Don’t let these things clutter up your life and steal your freedom. Just get rid of them quickly. Set someone free and then discover that the person is actually you.
If we can truly live lives of forgiveness then we can truly experience the joy and freedom that we are called to. That is the kind of life we are meant to live.
Life is too short and unpredictable to hold on to stuff. Send it away.
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