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  1. Do you remember Matt, replying to an email from a bewildered guy in his late 30s – having moved back to Southampton from working in Basingstoke; a few years earlier this chap had walked away from a NFI church in Plymouth where he had at the time of a university course come to terms with his sexuality. The trouble was – having approached the then Pastor of this church, seeking guidance he found himself being judged. Treated like something despicable rather than perhaps receiving compassion and understanding, He was simply a burden on this mans time. Heartbroken. We all sometimes want compassion, understanding and some time!

    I was heartbroken and suicidal with guilt and misunderstanding about God, and my place in the world, my self esteem issues so bad, I suffered for many more years, broken, inadequate and hateful.

    But having dropped church for some 2 years approximately, i craved Gods guidance and I had started a relationship that I didn’t understand but I could never be without!

    Some people are so hurt they will only be on the periphery of church life but God is far bigger than any personal circumstance, at the centre of our soul our connection with him is unique and he meets with us, at that level our soul is ready to seek him out. It transcends all religions and all worldly wisdom which can be flawed.
    Further more he has a powerful army! He has supernatural beings that fight for us! If you want to win, pick the winning side right? He’s in control!

    I was devastated but one pastor replied to my very random email enquiry and we went for a coffee! A man so generous there was not a feather weight of judgement within him, who threw open his arms and the warmth of his church. Because he knew then as he does now.. God commands this of us all. No questions asked!

    These times are trying! God gives us signs, my relationship with him is so weak on my part yet he has my back. He’s taken me from then thru a hellish house sale due to debt and mental health. But at that time, through my struggles, I relied on my mum and we gained such a meaningful closeness through the hurt he gave us strength.

    He sends rainbows, not queer flags, real ones at significant times and days. He transforms what is worldly to what is heavenly, sometimes there is pain in the healing. Depression, guilt, Anger… they happen to need to be unlocked with love and acceptance in a world that worships the self too much.

    Here I am my life path moved on when it needed to, I didn’t know I would be in France trying to buy a house. I never expected to be in a global pandemic locked down – talking to mum and friends over the internet, on a campsite in Provence. My depression meds reduced by half the amount I needed at the point I left home in April.

    I have walked in the footsteps of some of the early followers of JC in this region, to think many people dismiss the bible as fiction! It’s in part a history book.

    Saint or a Sinner?
    We are all Sinners but the power of healing he has for us! At the right moment it will blow our minds, ask for healing. Ask Ask Ask.

    I pray for the UK he will dilute any of our narcissistic pride with companionship and outreach, love and unity against the enemy. Can we forgive each other and make right choices? Even for those that caused us harm, can we find forgiveness? How much does he reward the wisdom of following an action that deep down he has compelled anyone to take?

    Holy Spirit, what are you asking, what are you saying right now?
    When there is a battle send us Angels,
    Send your protection Lord and incredible supernatural strength from the knowledge we just have to call on your name for good to happen!

    God bless you Matt,
    Vineyard.

    Amen.

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